Broken Hearts
by JeanneDeMetz
Summary: When her heart shattered, Rogue was desperate for someone to safe her, to pick up the pieces. But it was not the Wolverine who came to her aid, but someone who was as broken as her. Maybe misery really does love company.
1. Shattered

**_This is my first attempt at an English fan fiction (I am not a native speaker), so please don´t be too hard on me. It was intended to be a One-shot but it is currently growing into something more. _**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men._**

My heart broke the moment I layed eyes on them, embracing, kissing each other like there was no tomorrow, like they didn´t know,that all my dreams shattered in this exact moment into a million tiny pieces.

Maybe they didn´t realize I was standing there in the doorway to Logans room. Or maybe they just didn´t care. I came here to tell my best friend, my protector, my secret crush, that the Professor finally found a way to help me with my mutation. It would need time and a lot of practice but I would be able to do it and then I could touch. But that didn´t matter anymore. Because the one person whose touch I craved didn´t give a damn.

When I finally snapped out of the trance-like state I was in and started to retreat, the Wolverine seemed to notice for the first time, that he was not alone with his prey. I saw his back stiffen before he turned towards me, eyes wide open, an expression of shock on his face. He started to open his mouth but I dindn´t catch what he said because that was when I started to run...

I didn´t realize I was crying, until my whole view was blurred with tears and I ran into something solid and warm that happened to catch my wrist.

"Woah, Rogue, hey, what´s wrong?" I heard the voice of Scott Summers, leader of the X-Men, asking. Why of all people did I have to run into him? I was in no state to tell him that his fiancee ( ! ) just cheated on him with my hero/love/crush. And honestly I didn´t want to hurt him. Although my inner Logan screamed at me to take the perfect opportunity and torment Scooter a little. "Hey Rogue, Rogue? Did you hear me? What´s wrong?", he sounded honestly concerned. I wiped the tears away with my left hand before facing my teacher and preparing myself to lie. But when I saw him, looking down on me, brows furrowed, a questioning look on his face, I couldn´t do it. But I couldn´t tell him the truth either.

"Please, Mr Summers, just let...let me...my room...", I managed to choke out while I was still shaken with sobs. "Ok, Rogue, hush, if you don´t want to talk about it, it´s ok. I´ll escort you to your room then.", he didn´t seem satisfied with my answer but he didn´t push the topic and I was thankful for that. He was always so understanding.

We walked silently to my room and he opened the door for me. He led me to my bed and turned when I sat down and hugged my knees. Somehow the tears just didn´t stop.

"Thank you, Mister Summers.", that was the least I could do. Thanking him for being so kind to me. I felt guilty for not telling him about Logan and Jean. But...

"No problem Rogue. If you need anything or just want to talk, don´t be afraid to ask, kay? I´m probably in Logans room for a while, we need to discuss his last danger room session, so you know where you find me...if there is anything...", he stopped mid-sentence when he saw my horrified expression.

"You can´t go to Logans room.", I spoke before I knew what I was saying.

"Why not?", He was obviously confused. Of course he was. Who wouldn´t be. I was acting like crazy.

"Because...because...you just can´t. Please, Mister Summers don´t go in there. Not now.", I plead. I knew he would still go or at least question me further. He was curious now.

"Rogue, what´s going on?", his eyes were piercing mine. I knew it, even if I couldn´t see his eyes through those ruby-glass lenses. "Come on, you can trust me. Is this about Bobby? Or Logan? Did you two have a fight?", he sat down at the edge of my bed, ready to listen to whatever I had to say and that was when I decided to simply tell him. He would find out sooner or later anyway, and I guess it was better he found out here, with no one around except a weeping girl, than in front of the whole school.

"I...I was with the Professor. He told me that he finally found a way to help me with my mutation. I´ll be able to touch...", Scott interrupted me, "But that is great! Aren´t you glad? That was what you always wanted right?", I smiled sadly. "Yeah...but that´s not the end of the story..." Scott put his finger over his mouth to show that he was going to be silent now and motioned me to go on. He made himself more comfortable and was now fully sitting on my bed. When he stopped shifting around I almost chuckled. He seemed so much younger now after this childish little outburst. But then I remembered what I was going to tell him. I was going to shatter his heart. No, Jean already did. I was trying to limit the damage or that´s what I was saying to myself.

"So I went to Logan to...to tell him...because...uhm...you know...", I didn´t want to admit my feelings for the Wolverine. Not in front of Scott. Not after all this.

"Because he´s your friend.", Scott simply stated. Before he winked at me.

"Exactly because he´s my FRIEND.", he didn´t buy it but he decided to let it go. I guess he knew I loved Logan anyways.

"And well...oh...I don´t want to be the one to tell you Mr. Summers...well he wasn´t alone.", I was afraid of looking at him. Afraid he had already figured it out, but for the X-Men leader he was rather dense at that moment.

"He...uhm...he was...with Dr. Grey.", it was out. And hell did I feet relieved. That was until I heard someone sucking in a breath violently and I focused on Scott. I hoped I didn´t have to say more. I hoped he didn´t ask about the details. I wasn´t ready to talk about that...

"I´m so sorry Rogue. I really am.", Scott looked at me as if I was the one with the cheating fiancee.

"What?", I was shocked to say the least.

"I said I´m sorry. It must have been awful to see the one person you love...with someone else.", he seemed honest about that.

"But what about you? I mean Dr. Grey is your fiancee...aren´t you devastated?", the question was a little blunt but...well...whatever. I just then noticed the single tear sliding down his cheek, before he harshly wiped it away. He clearly was devastated. I never exspected our fearless leader to cry. For me he was this ironwall where nothing could get through, but that was because he always kept his facade up. Until today. Until he just couldn´t do it anymore.

And that was when I first saw him: The real Scott. Not Cyclops, or Mister Summers. Just... Scott.

"What do you feel like?", he asked me. I shrugged. "I feel like my heart is broken.", I knew it was a cheesy line but that was how it felt, the ache in my chest. "You didn´t answer my question. What do you feel like?"

"Me? I feel like crap.", and that was when I started to shake with laughter, because of the irony of it all.. Logan and Jean were together, having fun and we, Scott and me, were here, together, talking about our feelings and crying over our lost loves.

"Why are you laughing?", Scott looked like a confused little puppy with his head popped to the side. He probably thought I lost my mind. But I didn´t care and I just couldn´t stop laughing.

After a few minutes when my laughter had finally subsided. He asked me again. But I couldn´t answer him at first. He didn´t seem like a guy to laugh about something like that. But then again he surprised me by just sitting here with me, of all people. I never expected Scott Summers to sit here with me talking about...well...you know...

"I just thought it´s ironic, you know. I mean Logan and Jean are up there...and...", I stopped when I saw his face darken. "What´s so funny about that?", he looked angry, infact he looked furious. Bad choice of words Rogue. "That´s not what I think is funny...it´s just...well you lost Jean and I ...oh let´s face it I lost Logan and now we sit here together and they are together...am I making any sense?", I seriously doubted it.

"The scary thing is, I think you are.", and that was when he smiled. I saw him smile. And it was breath taking. His whole face seemed to shine then...I felt me breath hitch as I looked into his eyes...or where I thought they would be. Damn lenses.

He was so close. I didn´t realize that we were just inches apart. He leaned forward, placing a ghost of a kiss on my forehead, whispering a "thank you" before he drew back.

He was long gone when I was finally able to think again.

I didn´t make it to dinner. I mean I didn´t have anything important to do...I just skipped it. Because first of all I wasn´t really hungry...I felt more...well...nauseas. Guess why?

And second...I didn´t want to face all my fellow students down in the hall, I wasn´t up to it yet...let alone Logan or Jean...I would probably suck her dry. Not such a bad idea actually. I could picture it in my mind...hope the professor is busy...

When Scott left it felt like I was falling into a hole of depression...It finally sank in: I lost Logan. And for good. I knew that. I was no competition for Dr. Jean Grey. Oh well...maybe I should turn down the sarcasm a little...I was brought out of my brooding by a soft knock on my door and Scott´s voice saying:

"Rogue? Are you in there? I brought you something to eat. May I come in?", he was always so polite. Even now after his heart had been ripped to shreds...

"Go ahead.", I wasn´t in the mood for company but I just couldn´t turn down Scott when he clearly just tried to be nice.

He came in and placed a tray of food on my nightstand. "Thanks Mr Summers.", I managed to say. My throat was sore from all the crying.

"Don´t mention it.", he said while waving his hand to show me it was no big deal. He smiled but somehow it looked fake and I didn´t like it. It was nothing compared to the breathtaking smile he flashed at me a few hours before.

"You brought quite a load here, Mister Summers. I don´t think I´ll be able to eat it all.", in fact load was quite an understatement to describe that huge pile of food. I guess he somehow managed to confuse me with an elephant.

"Well that's because I'm starving.", he winked at me before throwing me a questioning look.

I rolled my eyes. "Make yourself comfortable."

When he settled down I noticed how pale he was. Something wasn't right. I mean apart from his cheating fiancée. "Mr. Summers?"

"Yeah?"

"What´s wrong?", okay today just wasn´t my day. Again: Bad choice of words.

"Are you serious?", his cheerful façade was gone now. And once again I got the chance to see what I called the real Scott. It wasn´t like him to explode like that. Especially with a student around. But I guess he didn´t care anymore. He lost everything that was precious to him. He lost his love. Or actually it was taken. By Logan. Anger suddenly flared inside me. Logan had no right to do this. To destroy Scott's life like that. If he made me feel miserable, well okay, it wasn´t his fault that a little girl fell in love with him. But he knew that Jean was engaged and he did it anyway!

"What is wrong with me? Oh I don´t know…maybe I am a little disturbed by the fact that my fiancee…MY FIANCEE", he was practically yelling by now, "is cheating on me. Or that the guy she is currently with, not only stole my beloved, but also my job."

"What do you mean by "stole your job"?", he didn´t seem to hear me.

"I guess I not only suck as a lover but as a leader as well.", his voice was quiet, almost like a whisper. He seemed to have forgotten all about me, at least if you took his unfocused stare as an indication. I began to hate Jean for what she did to him. And I wondered why the professor did something like that. Why he thought that LOGAN, Mr. I-ONLY-CARE-ABOUT-MYSELF, could be a better leader of the X-Men than good-hearted, selfless Scott. There had to be some mistake. It was the only reasonable explanation.

"Uhm…Mr. Summers? You must have misunderstood something. The professor would never make Logan the X-Men leader."

That got him out of his trance. "No Rogue.", he sighed. "He just told me. He is going to announce it tomorrow.", he was defeated. "And I apologize for my behaviour, Rogue. I don´t know what to say. I shouldn´t have come here now. That was unacceptable. You have enough to worry about as it is, believe me, I didn´t want to burden you with my problems as well. Can you forgive me?", he shot me a sad look.

And with this words something inside me snapped. He didn´t have to apologize. And there was absolutely nothing to forgive. What was wrong with him? Why did he suddenly blame himself for everything? He should be furious at Jean or Logan or the professor but why did he punish himself? It was not his fault, none of it. But then it dawned on me: He was ashamed. Ashamed that he wasn´t good enough for his girlfriend, ashamed that he wasn´t good enough in his job, ashamed that he couldn´t manage to hide hid feelings from a little girl.

"Mr. Summers, now you listen to me, and listen closely, because I am only going to say this once.", my words came out harsher than I had intended. But I had his full attention now.

"It is not your fault that Dr. Grey cheated on you, all right? And the professor must be crazy to make Logan leader of the X-Men, when he has you. Everyone here admires you, Mr. Summers, you are the most selfless and trustworthy person I know, and an extraordinary leader. I don´t know why anyone would choose Logan over you.", Okay maybe that didn´t come out right, for his head shot up and I could feel his eyes on me. "As a leader I mean.", I added and his shoulders seemed to sink a little, but I guess that was just my imagination.

"Thank you, Rogue. That was very kind of you. But I am still your teacher and I shouldn´t come to a student to weep.", with this distant words he stood up and moved towards the door. What shocked me then was my fear to see him leave. I didn´t want him to leave. When he was with me I could forget about my loss because compared to his mine seemed so much less fatal. "No, please, don´t Mr. Summers.", my voice was shaking. Suddenly I noticed tears burning in my eyes. He stopped, hand on the door handle.

"I don´t want to be alone.", when he turned I saw his expression soften. "Of course, Rogue. I´ll stay if you want me to.", I nodded and motioned for him to sit back down.

"Well, you can´t expect me to leave this pile of food untouched.", he said and smiled.

**_Please review._**


	2. Broken

_**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men.**_

So we sat there in silence for what felt like ages. Although Scott had claimed to be starving he barely touched the plate. I couldn't bring myself to eat anything. I felt nauseated. The mere thought of Logan and Jean together made me sick. The only thing that kept me from throwing up was the fact that Scott had to be suffering so much more and still he tried to console me.

As I said before he was truly the most selfless person I knew. Again I felt pity well up inside me. He didn't deserve this. But life, I had realized that years ago, wasn't fair. It didn't matter if you deserved your fate; all that mattered was how you dealt with it.

After a while the silence between us started to feel a little awkward so I decided to at least try to come up with something to say:

"Mr. Summers? Are you finished?", I asked and motioned at the still full plate. I know it was a poor attempt at conversation, but it was the first thing that came up my mind (apart from the image of Logan and Jean making out and that wasn't really what I wanted to talk to Scott about). For a moment he just stared at me but then he nodded absently.

So I took the tray and started to clean up a little, Scott still sitting on my bed. A quick glance at the clock on my nightstand told me that it wasn't late enough for me to sneak into the kitchen to do the dishes. The others would still be up. And though I knew that they probably didn't know what happened today I just wasn't in the mood to join them and their mundane chatter. I sighed and Scott, startled by the unexpected sound, looked up for once.

"You must be tired.", he stated while slowly standing up from the bed.

"A little.", I answered unsure of where he was going with this simple statement. My breath started to hitch. "I don't want to be alone.", I said before I could stop myself.

"That's okay. I'm not going anywhere.", he smiled a little, showing his perfect white teeth.

"You should try to get some sleep. It was a…hard day and…", he was interrupted by a thrusting knock on the door. I knew who it was even before I heard the mighty Wolverine's voice, saying: "Marie? Are you up?"

I saw Scott tense up immediately. But I couldn't worry about Scott much because as soon as I recognized the knocking my whole body started to shake and the tears I had fought so hard to hold back were burning in my eyes. I couldn't speak. The words were stuck in my throat. All I could manage to get out was a choking sound before I started to sob uncontrollably.

Scott was by my side in an instant and very gently he took me in his arms and stroked my back soothingly. I heard him clench his teeth, before he took a deep breath and said in voice so cold it made me shiver:

"Rogue is asleep, Logan."

I heard Logan curse from the other side. "I can hear her, Scooter. Now open that door."

"No.", I couldn't help but admire Scott for his courage. There were not many to stand up to the Wolverine. Logan was used to getting what he wanted, so it was no surprise for me when I heard the door burst open. I still didn't want to see Logan though, so I gladly hid behind Scott, when he pushed me behind him, so he could act as a living shield between me and the one person who made my heart ache. It was a little weird that he placed himself between me and Logan, I mean sure I didn't want to see much less talk to him but it wasn't like he was about to attack me or anything.

"What did you do to her?", I heard Logan suddenly growl. "Why is she crying? Marie? Come here, kid.", his voice was full of worry. And for a moment I wanted to push Scott out of the way and run into Logan's arms. But then I saw Scott's back stiffen and I saw his right hand move slowly to his visor and I knew I had to do something to stop him or he would not hesitate to grill Logan alive.

Slowly and as gently as I could I touched his back in order to calm him down. For a second I felt him tense up under my hand but then he relaxed slightly and his hand fell down. "I did nothing to her.", I heard him say, his voice less strained than before and more in control. "Yeah? Why is she crying then? And why don't you let her come to me? Get out of the way, now!", with a "snikt" I heard the Wolverines claws come out, "Or I'll make you!"

Logan was pissed, I could tell and Scott would be the one to pay for it. That wasn't fair. And also I was starting to get a little worried about Scott because he had no healing factor and I somehow doubted that he would stand a chance against a pissed off Wolverine. Laser eyes or not.

So I let my hand trail down Scott's very well-trained and muscular (I never noticed those before!) arms until I reached his hand. When I finally got his attention (he didn't seem to mind my hands on his back, although I started to feel a little awkward because I realized I was touching a TEACHER!) I tried to reassure him with a smile that it was okay for him to step down. I would be able to deal with it. He seemed to doubt it though, because he made no move to step aside. "It's okay, Mr. Summers. I can handle it."

Truth is: I wasn't so sure I could handle it and he seemed to pick up on my doubt for when he finally stepped aside it was only after a long glance and another forced smile of mine. He wasn't convinced I could tell, because he didn't let go of my hand, a fact that made me even more nervous.

All that was a matter of seconds and when I finally got the courage to look at Logan he was still standing there, claws out, a furious expression on his face. "Now come here, Marie, so I can show Scooter his place." That was a low-blow. I felt Scott flinch beside me. So it was official Logan already knew about his new post. Anger welled up inside me. A fact that helped me focus. I no longer stared at Logan's well-built form in awe but wanted to punch him for the hurt he caused Scott. And when I finally mustered the courage to speak my voice was calm and steady: "No, Logan. I'm fine where I am now. And I sure as hell don't want to be near you right now.", my inner Wolverine coming out through the slightly vulgar speech. "What you did…and Dr. Grey…how can you come up here and yell at Mr. Summers after what you did? How can one be so self-centred? Do you feel no shame at all?", at least he had the decency to cast down his eyes at that (and he retracted his claws, I might add). "Did you not think about the consequences when you…when you…", I couldn't say it. After all he was still my hero. I knew that he probably didn't deserve my love but I loved him nonetheless. I let the tears run down my cheeks freely then as I was shaken by sobs once again. Scott's hand grasped mine just a tiny bit harder before he let go of it and turned towards Logan: "You. Should. Leave.", a simple statement, spoken through gritted teeth. The Wolverine for once picked up on the hint and after one last glance in my direction, he left.

"Are you going to be okay?"; I heard Scott ask. But I couldn't bring myself to answer. Everything around me was a blur and Scott's voice sounded as if from a great distance. In return the voices in my head grew louder and louder. I heard the Wolverine ramble inside me and Eric giving me advice as well as Bobby telling me, he would have been the better choice to love.

Soon it felt like all of them were screaming at me until I felt someone's arms wrap around me, rocking me gently, and I realized it was me who was screaming.

_**Authors Note: This chapter didn't really turn out how I wanted it to be but I did have some kind of writers block so I guess it could have been worse…**_

_**Please review.**_


	3. Lost

_**Authors Note: I know that I tend to focus on Scott and Rogue here and that there wasn't really any interaction with other characters yet (apart from Logan), but I kind of need these first chapters to explore the Scott/Rogue "relationship" a bit. **__**Also I try to upload a chapter every week or so and I would really appreciate some ideas for the story as it is not 100% planned out yet (mostly it is of course but there are still some things I need to work on and you can always need new ideas).**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men. **_

The first thing I noticed when I regained consciousness was the quiet. The voices in my head were silent. I couldn't even feel there presence in my head, it was as if there was some kind of barrier that locked them into a small part of my mind. I realized that the professor must have been the one to do this and for a moment I let relief wash over me. For once I was alone with my thoughts.

I could not bring myself to open my eyes, to face a reality where all my hopes, my dreams were destroyed. It was so much easier to simply lie here and pretend that everything was just a bad dream, a nightmare I would wake up from any second. Logan…Logan loved me…he loved me…I repeated the words in my head like a mantra until they started to feel real…

The creaking sound of a heavy wooden door brought me out of my reverie. Light footsteps shattered my hope that it was Logan who had entered the room. Probably Jean who wanted to check up on me…I feigned sleep as good as I could and slowed down my breathing.

Until a gentle hand on my forehead let my eyes snap open instantly. "You're awake!", a startled Scott Summers exclaimed.

"Finally.", he stated and reached for a chair beside the bed. I became aware that I was not in the basement as I had thought but in a room I never saw before with dark wooden furniture and a huge window.

"How long have I been out?", I asked, my voice coarse from the lack of use.

"About 36 hours.", he said. A typical Cyclops respond. I would have been content if he said about a day and a half.

"What happened?"

"What do you remember?", his eyes fixated me and I noticed for the first time that they were rather dark with a peculiar shape. I was so amazed by my discovery that I forgot all about his question and I somehow managed to overlook the fact that I was able to see his eyes at all.

I first noticed that something was amiss when he (obviously still waiting for me to answer his question) tilted his head to the side and looked at me expectantly.

"Rogue? Are you alright?", a frown was beginning to show on Scott Summers otherwise extraordinary handsome face.

"You don't wear your glasses.", I stated the obvious.

He blinked a few times as if taken aback before he distanced himself and said in a apologetically tone: "I am sorry, Rogue, I didn't want to scare you, really, I forgot all about them, but I assure you they work just fine. I am not going to hurt you.", with these words he motioned at the sun-glasses he was wearing and which I never saw on him before. I guess I was more amazed by his mysterious eyes than I thought if I was able to miss those glasses.

"I'll better go and get my visor. Or maybe I should send Hank to…", he started to ramble, which I found kind of cute since I never ever heard Mr. Summers ramble.

"It's fine. I was just a little surprised really.", I was trying to calm him down but failing miserably as he didn't sit back down.

"You sure?"

"Yep. Come, sit back down. And tell me: Do you wear those often? I never saw them on you before…", I knew there were more important matters at hand than my teachers new glasses but I didn't want to come back to Logan and Jean. Yet.

Scott sat down reluctantly and kept his gaze focused on mine as if he feared to frighten me with the absence of his visor.

"Well…no not often. Only when I am alone in my room or after I wake up in the morning. The visor is not very comfortable so it is nice to have it off my face, if only for a little while." I nodded in understanding. I loved taking my gloves off or walking around in a shirt when I was alone, so I totally got where he was coming from. But I still had a question:

"Why are you wearing them now then? I mean not that I mind, I don't. Honestly, but…?"

I mean he was clearly neither alone nor did he just wake up as he was completely dressed and…He interrupted my running thoughts, saying:

"Well you were knocked out for quite some time and we didn't expect you to wake up before tomorrow. And I thought since there was no one else around and it was not likely that anyone would come here the next few days, I could take the risk. I am truly sorry if I scared you. It wasn't my intention.", he looked so sad then, a bit like a kicked puppy and for a brief moment I wondered how anyone could not want to be with a guy like him.

No! Bad Rogue! He is your teacher for Christ's sake!

I needed a few seconds before I realized that he was still waiting for me to say something:

"It's really nothing, Mr. Summers, I was just curious that's all." He nodded, relief washing over his face.

"So…where am I?", I asked wondering why I didn't think about this sooner.

"Oh…uhm…", a slight blush crept up Scott's face and he turned away from me towards the door as if looking for some way to escape.

"Well…after you fell unconscious I brought you down to the med lab and called for the professor, because Hank didn't know how to help you, physically you where just fine…", he stopped there for a second, taking a deep breath. "It was your mind we were worried about. The professor did have a hard time locking those guys in your head away, believe me. He was with you for more than two hours."

"Why did he have to lock them away at all? I mean he always said I would have to learn to live with them there…why didn't he do that sooner if…", I was starting to get angry again. Why did he make me go through all that pain, if he could…

"Hey, hey Rogue! Calm down, okay? You must take it easy for a while…", his hand enclosed mine and squeezed it briefly while he waited for me to compose myself.

"You should know by now that the professor does everything in his power to help you. He didn't want to lock your alter egos away because he fears that you won't ever be able to control your mutation without them helping you. But he had no other chance now. You would have gone mad if it wasn't for him. Logan, Eric and the other people you absorbed took over your mind completely. I probably shouldn't have told you this now but I don't want to lie to you, Rogue. You don't need another guy to betray your trust. You have a right to know."

I couldn't comprehend his words right away. I would never be able to touch. Just two days ago I was practically screaming from joy when he told me that we had made a breakthrough and then…Logan…I would never be able to touch Logan, to hug him without the ever present fear of hurting him, to kiss him…Logan…Logan was with Jean now. He wouldn't want to kiss me even if my skin wasn't lethal. So losing the ability to touch forever was in fact no loss at all. Not anymore. Not when there was no one whose touch you wanted.

I saw Scott looking down on me with pity in his eyes, murmuring: "I am so sorry Rogue.", and again I felt his hand on my gloved one. But I didn't feel embarrassed by it or ashamed because I didn't feel anything at all.

"You still didn't tell me where I am.", I finally said, my voice lacking any kind of emotion.

I tried to avoid looking at Scott then and stared at the opposite wall instead. The sudden change of topic obviously took my teacher of guard as he said without blushing and clearly without even thinking:

"You´re in my room.", as if it was the most normal thing in the world, that a student would wake up in the bed of her teacher.

_**Please review. **_


	4. Alone

_**Authors Note: I'm sorry for not updating in such a long time, but I was really busy with school and will be for another couple of weeks. But I want to continue this story nonetheless. I don't really like this chapter, but I really can't make you wait any longer so here is the my fourth chapter.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men. **_

"In your room…", I murmured silently to myself, repeating his words, my mind not yet quite catching their meaning. A second later I realized what he had just said and blinked, startled.

"What do you mean I'm in your room?", my voice was just a notch higher than usual and betrayed the embarrassment I felt at the thought of Jubilee and Kitty gossiping about the fact that I had spent the night in our teachers BEDROOM. "Well it seemed to be a good idea at the time…", answered said teacher after a deep and apparently not so calming breath. He looked about as embarrassed as I felt. Good. I shouldn't be the only one suffering. "I thought that you wouldn't want to be around Jean when you woke up so the med lab was out of the question and Logan kept knocking on your door while you were with the professor. So it was pretty obvious that you wouldn't have a moments peace if I brought you there…and considering what happened two days ago I didn't really think you wanted to be 'round Logan either…".

He was right of course. I wasn't able to face Jean now, let alone the mighty Wolverine. Scott looked at me sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. He was still uncomfortable I could tell. And somehow I couldn't help but find the situation a tiny bit funny. "I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable or anything…it wasn't my intention.", he leaned down to me and looked me deep into the eyes. It felt as if he could see straight in to my soul. I know that is a cheesy line but it was true. For a moment I couldn't think, hell I couldn't even breath.. All amusement was gone. A second later I tore my eyes away from his and looked down. I was blushing like mad, and had some problems with my rather ragged breathing but I managed to keep my voice in check, when I finally said: "Nothing to be sorry for, Mr. Summers. I'm glad I don't have to deal with…anything right now. If anything I should be the one apologizing for disturbing your privacy like that.", I could see him grin when I finally had the guts to glance up to him. "I guess you should.", he said.

"I should what?", "Apologize." I blinked. He didn't just say that, did he? "After all I had to sleep on the couch, because of you." He was smirking now. Clearly having too much fun messing with my head. Still, I couldn't help but feel guilty for making him sleep on the couch. This was his bed after all. "I…I'm sorry…I", silently I cursed. Why did I stutter like five-year-old? His smirk turned into a genuine smile then. "Hey, I was just teasing you a little. I don't mind sleeping on the couch…I couldn't sleep anyways.", now that he said that I could see the black rings under his eyes and recognized his dishevelled clothing. The same clothing he had worn when I collapsed. Before I could revel more in the fact that my teacher didn't have a change in clothing for quite some time now and still didn't smell…or didn't smell gross, he stood up and motioned to a door: "There is the bathroom. You might want to freshen up a bit or change. There should be fresh towels inside if you want to take a shower…", then he turned around and headed for another door on the opposite wall. "I'll be in my study. If you need anything feel free to ask." What was he thinking? Take a shower? In HIS bathroom? Why would I do that? "Uh Mr. Summers…", "yes, Rogue?", he looked back over his shoulder. "I don't have any clothes...", yeah like that was the problem! Hello! What is wrong with me? Did the professor kill some cells in my brain or something? "Oh right. Just a second." I only then noticed the third door, which apparently led to a rather large closet. When Scott came out again he held a blue shirt and some pants in his hand, which seemed to have been in his closet for a very very long time. He laid them down at the foot of the bed and strode towards the door again. "You must be starving. Come out when you are ready and I'll get you something to eat.", that were his last words before the door closed behind him.

"What the hell was that?", I asked myself as soon as I no longer heard his footsteps. Why was I here again? And why didn't I ask him why I should clean myself up here? And not in my own room in my own shower? And why did he give me his clothes to wear? I wasn't a prisoner or anything or was I? Maybe I was too dangerous to be led out? No that couldn't be it. He was way too comfortable around me for that. But then again, my teacher was leader of the X-Men. Or had been. I only then remembered that Logan now held that title. I mentally scowled at the thought of having to accept orders from him. Sure Logan was an incredible fighter, an irresistible force but was he really a leader? Someone that fought with his head, had tactical experience and self-control. No Logan had never been like that. He won his matches through raw power and persistency, not because he outsmarted his opponents. I didn't understand why the professor would ask Scott to step down in favour of Logan. It didn't make any sense. Not to me anyways. I shook my head in confusion. There were so many questions unanswered it gave me a headache. I looked at the clothes again and sighed. I really wanted to take that shower. When I stood up I noticed that my legs weren't half as shaky as I expected them to be. Slowly I made my way over to the bathroom. It was small, very similar to my own, the only difference being the bathtub, a luxury I did not have. Being a teacher really did pay off I guess. For a second I pondered having a foam bath instead of a quick shower but then I mentally scolded myself. I would not use my teacher's bathtub. That was just too weird. A small part of me asked if wearing his clothes was so much better, but I was quick to shove that part of my conscience in a very dark corner of my mind. This was awkward enough.

About half an hour later I was feeling much more alive and myself than I had in ages (okay maybe two days but who cares?). Not that I actually felt good or anything. The memory of Logan and Jean together…was still way too fresh in my head. And there it was back again. That feeling in my chest that made it harder to breathe, that emptiness I had felt when I fell unconscious. It hit me then: I was alone. All alone. My best friend, my idol, my protector, my love…was gone. Forever gone. He hadn't cared about me at all. I was worthless, nothing more than a child in his eyes, a bother.

But that wasn't everything yet. The shock of seeing Jean and Logan together had worn off and was restored by a feeling of humiliation. My legs gave way under me and I fell hard on my knees. By now I was sobbing uncontrollably, salty tears staining the blue shirt that hung loosely on my thin frame. I should have seen it coming. I should have known that someone like Logan never could return my love. I wasn't worth to worship the ground the Wolverine walked on. And yet I had nourished my foolish dreams and fantasies, had allowed myself to hope that someday…someday he would pay me the attention I deserved. But that was just it: I did not deserve any attention. Not from Logan or anybody for that matter. Why hadn't I been able to see that before? How loathsome I was? How pathetic?

I did not hear the door open behind me or the approaching footsteps, but I knew instantly who it was, when strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a hard, lean chest.


	5. Pitied

_**Authors Note: This will be the last chapter for the next couple of weeks, but don't worry I won't abandon this story. It was harder to write this than I thought it would be, but I like it more than the last chapter. **__**By the way: Thank you for the kind reviews.**_

_**Disclaimer: Would I be writing this if I owned X-Men? Exactly.**_

He didn't say anything for a very long time. I was sitting on the floor between his legs, my back leaning into his chest, while I wept into his shirt. His arms were wrapped around me tightly, his chin resting on my head. I didn't know why he did that, holding me as if he had a right to do so, as if I deserved someone to offer me comfort and support, but I stayed silent.

Not wanting to make him realize what he was doing, not wanting him to step away from me with a look of disgust on his handsome features, when he would come to his senses again. When I felt him shift behind me after a more violent sob of mine, I thought he would push me away, but surprisingly to me, all he did was pull me into his chest even harder. His hold on me wasn't gentle, but firm, it felt as if my back was crashed into an iron wall.

It wasn't comfortable but it was exactly what I needed.

After some time, when my sobbing had finally subsided, he spoke up, his voice barely more than a whisper in my ears:

"You should eat something.", while he spoke I felt his chest rumble behind me, and wondered for a brief moment, if the muscles that were pressed into my back, would look as amazing, as they felt. However the thought didn't linger when my mind started to comprehend what he had just said.

What was wrong with him? I just had a major breakdown and he doesn't come up with anything better than that? But then again what was he supposed to say? There was nothing he could have said to help me or make things better. I guess he just didn't want to lie to me, murmuring sweet little nothings into my hair, which at the end of the day meant exactly that: nothing. Somehow I felt grateful. He really was a great guy. I mean after all I am not the only one who lost someone recently, am I? And yet, he was here, helping, caring as if I was the only one with issues, as if he wasn't hurt at all.

As soon as this realization hit me I felt selfish for putting him through this, for reminding him by my mere presence of his treacherous fiancée and for putting all this additional weight on his shoulders.

"I'm sorry.", I said, my voice still hoarse from all the crying. He didn't answer, but his arms grasped me just a tiny bit harder and I wondered for a brief second, if my own arms would bruise from his steely embrace. I only then noticed my bare arms and un-gloved hands. He was holding me, with no gloves, only the thin fabric of my shirt between us. Panic started to rise in my chest and I struggled to break free of his grasp. "Let me go! Are you crazy? My skin…", he wouldn't move. Not the tiniest bit.

"Relax Rogue.", again I felt the words more than I actually heard them. "I'm not touching you.", okay maybe he wasn't, but he was too close to my uncovered arms for comfort. But then again if he didn't mind why should I? If he wanted to die so badly…well maybe I was overestimating my skin there a bit…he could always snatch his hands away if he wanted to…although he didn't seem to know that. His arms stayed firmly in place and I stopped my silent struggling seconds later and sighed.

No reason to fight with Cyclops in hand to hand combat. Especially when your arms are pressed to your body in a death grip. "Why?", such a simple word. But it held so many different facets. Why was he here? Right, that was his apartment, let me rephrase that: Why was he here with me? Why wasn't he scared of my skin? Why did he hold on to me as if his life depended on it? Why did I feel safer now, pressed into his chest, that I was sure, was very well defined and…oh…now where did that come from?

I felt a slight blush creep up into my cheeks and finally noticed just how close we actually were. I could feel his breath tickle my exposed neck and had to suppress a shiver at the realization. He didn't answer at first but took a deep breath instead.

"Because I know how you feel." And he did. He was suffering as much as I did. He tried to sound nonchalant when he said it, but he was as much torn up inside as I was. Maybe even more so. And yet he was so unbelievably strong, strong enough to offer me support, strong enough to keep himself in check. I wished I had his self-restraint. Once again I had the urge to apologize:

"I'm so sorry. For all of this…I didn't mean to…", he wouldn't let me finish. "You are sorry, Rogue? And what exactly are you sorry for? That my fiancée cheated on me with the one guy you trusted? That I lost my status as leader of the X-Men? That I practically wasted my life doing everything for Xavier and his idea of a perfect world only to get my ass kicked? Now tell me, Rogue, what exactly are you sorry for?" His voice was strained; he was fighting hard not to yell. "Don't pity me Rogue. I could not bear it."

That was what he thought? That I pitied him? He deserved so much more than pity. "That was not what I meant…I …I'm sorry for this…", I motioned to his tear stained shirt, "sorry for being such a bother, for being so selfish." He shook his head slightly. "You are no such thing…I can not stand the thought of being here alone…without anything to do…if any one it is me who was selfish. I guess my ulterior motives for bringing you here weren't as honourable as you thought.", he chuckled a little and I was glad for his mood change and wanted to use the opportunity it presented:

"Uh Mr. Summers…"

"Yes?"

"You can really let go now.", with these words I felt him tense for a split-second, before he instantly released me and started to get off the floor, offering me a hand in the process. He was blushing ever so slightly and I couldn't help but find him a bit cute. When I saw his outstretched hand I hesitated neither he nor I wore gloves, my skin could hurt him if I held on to him too long, but on the other hand I would hurt his feelings if I refrained from taking his hand. When he noticed my hesitation he looked at me curiously. I mentally sighed and braced myself for the hurt look in his eyes when I started to get up on my own, when I suddenly felt his hand in my own. He pulled me to my feet and instantly let go again. My mutation didn't even have the time to kick in. I thought I saw a glint of mischief in his eyes then but it was gone too quick to be sure.

"Now how about some pancakes?" How odd. Was that really all he ever thought about? Food? I made sure not to roll my eyes at him and keep the sarcasm out of my voice:

"Sure. "When I saw his smile I really was sure. He can make odd remarks about food as much as he wants with a smile like that. Oh no! Not again! What is wrong with me? I groaned and instantly felt his eyes on me. Mental note to self: Keep emotions in check. He didn't say anything though and motioned for me to follow him through the door. When I started to ponder how broad his shoulders were compared to Logan's I had to suppress the urge to slap myself.

How long was I supposed to live with my teacher again?


	6. Determined

_**AN: Okay I know it has been forever since my last update, but I am very busy with exams right now. I try to start uploading more frequently again. I am currently working on the next chapter and I hope I will have it up some time this week. **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men.**_

Apparently he wasn't eager to see me leave any time soon. Why I knew that? Because he went to get me clothes. My teacher went to get me clothes from my closet. Is that normal? Somehow I doubt it. I'm still glad he did it. I hadn't been too comfortable in his clothes. It hadn't felt like I had a right to wear them. I still don't really get why he wants me around so badly but I'm not complaining. The more time I spent with him, the more I want to get to know him, the more I want to see him smile…oh there it goes again. I'm not sure where this sudden infatuation with my teacher comes from but I don't like it. In fact I don't like it at all.

The pancakes were extraordinary though. But I was so famished by then that I probably would have eaten everything just to get rid of the hollow feeling in my stomach.

I wonder how long the professor will allow me to skip school and stay with Scott. I mean exams are about to come up and I can't hide in here forever…although that thought sure does have its appeal.

Some day, and I have a feeling that that day will come soon, I will have to face reality again. In form of my friends, classmates and Logan. Logan and Jean. Somehow my mind always comes back to that. A sigh escapes my lips and I get up from the couch I was sitting on. I need something to occupy my mind with. And fast. Otherwise I have a feeling that those images I have been fighting so hard to suppress will rise to the surface again. Maybe I should take a walk around the gardens? Yeah right. Logan would find me right away. But in this room there isn't much to do. And this silent pondering isn't doing me any good right now. I take a few steps in the direction of the window. The sun is shining brightly. As if it wants to mock me. Just minutes ago I was frightened at the thought of leaving this room but now I wish I could feel the wind caress my face and the sun burn on my pale skin. How long was I inside now? It must have been days since I last got a bit of fresh air. I could go outside…I wasn't a prisoner or anything…but somehow I still hesitate. Not because of Logan or at least not only because of him, but because I don't want to leave without telling Scott where I went. He told me he needed me. I still find that hard to believe. Cyclops doesn't need anyone to keep him company…the thought alone is completely ridiculous. But then again it was Scott, who was so willing to share his room with me, a young guy in his early twenties, who had just recently been dumped by his girlfriend. Maybe Cyclops doesn't need me, but Scott does. I should really stop thinking of Scott and Cyclops as two different persons. Scott isn't even here, he won't notice my absence. Somehow that thought stings a little, but I don't ponder on it. The sunlight reflecting on the window is too inviting. So with one last sigh I walk slowly to the door and leave my teachers room behind me.

Once I close the door behind me I become aware of the weight of my actions. I don't have a key to that door! How am I supposed to get back inside? Panic rises in my chest. What was I thinking? What am I doing out here? In the open? Someone could come walking down this corridor any second…Logan could come down this corridor any second or even worse Jean…I never liked the red haired Doctor but since I know what she did to Scott I downright despise her. My breathing starts to become rigid and I try to tell myself to calm down. All I have to do is find Scott and ask him for the key and I can return inside the security of my room. My room? No. Scott's room. I mentally slap myself. Get a grip Rogue! You wanted to go outside, well, guess what, you are. Now deal with it! Easier said than done. But I refuse to search for Scott right away, because for one thing he is probably teaching right now and I would die from embarrassment if I had to walk up to him during class and ask him for the key to his room…the thought alone makes me blush…and for another thing I wouldn't know what to tell him if he asked me why I left my room in the first place.

I must have been standing in front of the door for a complete five minutes now. I wanted to get fresh air and I will! Even if it is the last thing that I'll do before I am six feet under.

Fifteen minutes later I am sitting in the bright morning sun, my back popped up against a tree. The tree also hides me from view. No one is outside since everyone is in class at this time of day and I have the garden all to myself. It feels incredible just to have the wind on my face again. I silently curse myself for not having thought of bringing a book with me (Scott had a LOT of books in his room; the whole wall was practically one gigantic book case). So with nothing to do my eyelids start to feel heavier and heavier and after a little while I let myself be embraced by slumber.

I wake with a start. I hear people chattering, laughing all around me. Of course. Lunch break!

The second time that day I feel panic creeping up on me…What if they see me? I am sitting in a far away corner of the garden but they could still see me. Why do I have to have deadly skin? I would prefer invisibility right now. Well probably not just now.

Suddenly I hear footsteps come into my direction and I stiffen. What if it is Bobby? Or Logan? I try to make myself as small as possible to hide completely behind the tree.

But seconds later I realize my effort is useless and I prepare to face the inevitable.

"Rogue!", all of a sudden a blur of yellow rushes into view and knocks the air out of my lungs in a bear hug. Jubilee. Only she was confident enough to dress herself in such a sparkling colour. "I was so worried about you! Where were you? The professor said you went down south for a while? Did you go back home? I'm so glad you are back! But why are you so pale? You must tell me everything! Have you eaten already…?", my brain doesn't even try to make sense of her ongoing chatter, but Jubilee doesn't seem to expect any answers and continues to babble for the next couple moments so I have a chance to recover from the shock of being discovered. When she finally falls silent for a nano-second and releases me, I am able to use the rare opportunity to say something myself:

"I…I was…sick…for a little while. I am better now though.", the lie doesn't sound convincing but Jubilee doesn't press for answers. That is what I always liked about her. She understands when I want to keep something to myself.

"You sure?", she looks so worried and I hate myself for being the one to cause that expression to appear on her face.

"It will be better.", I tell myself as much as her. She nods her head in understanding and for a moment I wonder what Scott and the professor told her…they wouldn't tell her about Logan, would they? Maybe they didn't need to…They probably don't care about keeping their relationship a secret…Poor Scott. To be so humiliated in front of everyone…I grit my teeth in frustration. It's no use…there is nothing I can do…

"Do you want to come and eat with me?", Jubilees voice brings me back to the situation at hand. Silently I shake my head no.

Suddenly I see her tense. I want to start apologizing for my refusal but that is when I hear it. That voice.

"Rogue!", my heart skips a few beats and I look up to meet his eyes, flaring with a fury I never saw before.

_**Reviews always help my muse a lot… ;-)**_

_**And no that is not some twisted form of blackmail.**_


	7. Scared

_**Author's Note: I apologize for the long wait but to be honest I didn't think I would come back to this story…I did it because there are still people reading it and they deserve to more than an unfinished fragment…I'm sorry that this chapter is a bit rough, I'll work it over later.**_

If someone told me he could see Cyclops flaring anger through his ruby-lensed visor I would have probably laughed right in his face. But I can feel the heat in his gaze, the suppressed rage. "I have been looking for you.", those six words, spoken so calm, so controlled, send a shiver down my spine. For the first time ever I am scared of him and I think I may have gotten a glimpse of what his enemies get to see, before he is about to strike.

I am so afraid I am paralyzed, I can't look away from him and that makes it so much worse.

Jubilee however doesn't seem fazed by her former leader. She greets him and immediately starts to tell him how she found me…he doesn't seem to be listening. At least he isn't looking at her. His gaze is still locked with mine. What made him so furious? Who made him so furious?

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he pries his gaze away from mine and focuses on Jubilee.

I'm not really paying attention to what he says because I am suddenly hit with the realization that his voice sounds completely normal while he is talking to her. He isn't mad at me, is he? I didn't do anything wrong. Maybe his chilly tone was just my imagination…but then again I did definitely not imagine his ice cold stare.

I am brought out of my silent pondering by Jubilee, who once again hugs me so tight it squeezes the air out of my lungs, before waving a quick good bye to Scott while walking away.

Where is she going? Why did she leave me alone with him? I am afraid to look up because I fear Cyclops will once again hold my eyes captive if I let myself look at him for a second too long. It is scary though, not to see what he is doing, what his expression looks like. I still feel his gaze on me and that makes me even more uncomfortable than the silence that settled around us since Jubilee left.

It is only seconds before he speaks again, but to me the silence feels like an eternity. And yet I would have preferred the silence if I had known what was about to come…

"Why are you here?", his voice is calm but dripping of cold anger. I struggle to hide the shiver running down my spine. Somehow I start to feel cold although the sun is still shining brightly. Why am I here? Good question. I asked myself that a couple of times already…and yet I have no idea why he should be mad at me…I mean I didn't do anything wrong, right? I just went to the garden…I mean I wasn't going to run away or anything…What is the big deal? Somehow he managed to activate my stubborn streak because his anger is kind of fuelling mine. What right does he have to be angry with me? I didn't do anything! Stupid righteous prick! He's probably just angry because I didn't follow his orders…Well I am not a lapdog for him or the professor to order about! I force myself to lock my gaze with his which turns out to be a huge mistake, because somehow I loose my spunk once I see his fury directed at me and I want to start apologizing…although I still have no idea what I could have done wrong…

His patience seems to grow thinner since his eyebrows are almost touching by now…I should really come up with an answer…and fast…

"I asked you a question." Oh oh…think woman…think! I'm dead. Really I'll die. I'm sure of it.

"I wanted some fresh air?", somehow my mumbled response sounds more like a question. He is really scaring me now. I wonder if the crime I committed was evil enough to earn myself some laser burns from those gorgeous eyes…now where did that come from? Anyway Scott wouldn't really attack me, right? He looks as if he's thinking about it though…

"Fresh air? Really? Then open a window, damn it!" Wow Cyclops and sarcasm…he's really losing it. I just stare at him. It would really help if I knew what this was about but I am way too scared to ask now…

"What were you thinking?", I am not sure Scott is aware of the fact that by now he is very close to making a scene. Already some heads were turned our way and only the fact that Scott's angry voice apparently was pretty quiet saved us from one so far.

"Maybe we should discuss this inside?", once again my suggestion turns out to be a question.

"Yeah. Sure why not. And where exactly would we go, huh? The kitchen? Yeah let's keep Logan and Jean some company or maybe…", he must have noticed now that I had no idea where he was going with this…because he stopped his sarcastic lecture to swear under his breath. At least I think he swore. Cyclops swearing is a bit weird isn't it? But Scott can swear apparently…oh I really have to stop thinking about his as if he was two persons…

"You have no idea what you did right?" He lets out an exasperated sigh. His anger seems to have calmed down some though I still feel on edge around him.

I finally get enough of my wits back to ask: "Please, can we just go somewhere else? Everybody is staring…maybe...upstairs?" Even I can hear how timid I sound and I think it is just plain childish that I can't bring myself to say his room…but I can't say it. No way. He is still my teacher after all. Plus you never know who is listening which reminds me…oh crap. ..No. He is looking at me as if I turned completely insane and the shame makes my cheeks flush bright red. Jubilee said that she thought I was in the South…because that's what everyone said. Because the professor may be ok with me living together with my teacher and captain but the other students might come to different conclusions…Oh god. I feel so stupid. Now I have to go back to my old room…and Logan will come to talk to me and…I don't realize my heavy breathing until Scott…Cyclops…Mr Summers…I don't even know how to call him now puts his hand on my shoulder. "Calm down, Rogue, okay? Think of the scene we would make if you fainted on me now, okay?" I nod and try to control my breathing. I could kill myself for my stupidity. And poor Scott…he said he needed me and now I screwed up. Royally. We both had to go back to suffering alone now. "I am so sorry, I didn't think and I really just needed some space…I already wanted to go back inside once your door closed behind me but then I realized I had no key and…god…I'm really sorry. I'll go back to my room right away and then you won't get any problems, I'll just say I was sick the last couple of days and…he smiles down at me and I know his anger vanished as quickly as it came. "That won't solve the problem. "Only then I see the hint of sadness in his eyes. "Jean knows you haven't been with Hank…And besides…are you ready to face Logan again?"

He must have seen the fear in my eyes because his gaze became soft and his hand gave my shoulder a light squeeze. "Don't worry, I'll work something out so you can stay with me…If you want that is?", yes I wanted nothing more (besides being with Logan of course) than stay with him but I didn't want to get him in any trouble…"I don't want to get you in trouble…", I voiced my thoughts. His smile grew at that. "That the only reason you are hesitating?", "Yes. I already messed up your life enough…I think…", I got a laugh out of him with that. I don't know why though. It didn't sound funny to me. "Then come. Let's go back inside. I have to word something out. With that he had his arm around my waist and led me inside. Not caring if anyone saw or not. I was horrified. He was so dead. And he didn't even care! The smile in his face had vanished though so he must have known what he was doing…I hoped…

Just before we reached the door he leaned down to me and whispered softly in my ear: "And FYI you leave like that again, be sure that I'll come for you. If you want me to or not."

He was so close I felt his breath tickle my earlobe, but that wasn't what would keep me up that night. I was that voice. The same cold fury I heared when he caught me talking to Jubilee.

Boy was I in trouble.

_**Hint:**_

_**The only thing that made me continue were the reviews.**_


	8. Found

_**Authors Note: Thank you for the reviews. They really keep me from abandoning this story. This morning when I checked my mail and there was someone asking for and update I just couldn't leave him/her hangin'. So you see how important reviews are to keep going. But enough said: On with the chapter.**_

If I had known what Scott meant when he said „I'll work something out" I may have considered moving back in my old room. Scratch that. Who am I kidding? I would have stayed with him anyways. I am neither fit to live alone nor ready to have a regular teenaged roommate.

It is true, Scott does creep me out more than I ever thought he could, because he can be really scary and has these weird mood swings. But he is there for me like no one ever was before, not even Logan. That is why I decided to trust him. Let him handle explaining why I am sharing a room with him…although I would have preferred some other explanation than this…"he is training with me to completely control my mutation." Seriously? No I mean…Seriously? He did know that the main problem about my mutation is the "I cannot touch part" right? Can you imagine what this "training" implies? Exactly: Touching. Working on my mutation would involve a lot of touching between me and my teacher. Thank god my parents don't care about me at all. Otherwise I would have a lot of explainin' to do. I really don't want to know what goes on in the students' minds right now…let alone Logan and Jean… for once I hope Logan doesn't care about me because if he does…poor Scooter. He would be sliced to tiny little pieces.

Why couldn't I stay in his room? Why did I have to run into Jubilee of all people? Oh well at least I don't have to hide anymore now, which is why I am curled up snugly on the couch in the TV room watching Casablanca. For about the thousandth time. But I mean who can blame me? Who doesn't love Rick saying: "Here's looking at you kid."

Scott went to talk to the professor about some X-Men business and I still feel a bit awkward alone in his "apartment" which is why I decided to come here. It's past midnight so all the other students are in bed…Storm talked to me earlier but it was a bit awkward…it felt as if she was trying to find out if Scott was taking advantage of me without really asking…she left pretty soon. I haven't seen Logan or Jean and I don't think they'll show up…I heard they went out earlier this evening and aren't expected to return before daybreak as usual. Which reminds me…it is rather late. Or early. Maybe I should go upstairs so Scott isn't worried when he comes back from the professor. I don't want this afternoon to repeat itself…he really can be scary if he wants to… but also so very ho…

"There you are." Scott's smooth voice saves me from my embarrassing chain of thoughts. He is leaning ever so coolly against the doorframe, a half smile on is extraordinary handsome face.

"I was looking for you. Thankfully you were much easier to find then this afternoon." He sounds playful but after what happened earlier today I am not willing to take any chances…"Sorry but now that everyone knows I am still in the mansion, thanks to my stupidity, I thought it would be okay for me to come down…", while I am talking his smile grows wider until it is a very wicked grin and he interrupts me: "Relax, Rogue. I am not mad at you. You are not my prisoner you know. I may have overreacted a bit when I yelled at you for leaving my room. I have no right to tell you what to do. As for my defense: You did cause both of us some trouble." Before I can start apologizing again he goes on: "However, everything is cleared now and there is no reason for you to hide in my room anymore. So there is no need for you to apologize, okay?" I nod because I don't think I am able to talk. "What are you doing here at this hour anyways?", he comes closer and sinks down beside me on the couch. "Casablanca? Really?"

"It is a good movie.", my voice tells him to better not start trash talking about my favorite movie. "I know it's a good movie. I just didn't think your generation appreciates a classic."

His arm is loosely draped behind me on the couch and I can feel warmth radiating of him and it feels so nice I actually forget what we talk about for a second…

I know he is referring to his literature classes…most students apparently aren't very interested in. Although I love Shakespeare. But he doesn't need to know I am a hopeless romantic. Plus what did he mean by "my generation"?

"Uhm Mr. Summers, I am sorry to break this to you but you're not even 6 years older than me. That is hardly a generation."

"Maybe not in years, but definitely in experience." I am not sure but I think that sounded as nasty in his ears as it did in mine, because I could swear he is blushing. Fiercely.

He is trying to cover it up by saying "btw-you can call me Scott, when we are alone, because it feels pretty awkward when the person living with you addresses you as "Mr" all the time. Like you said, I'm not that old."

I nod but there is no time to continue our friendly and completely innocent conversation, because we are interrupted by no one else but the infamous Wolverine and his recent capture: Miss Perfect aka Dr. Jean Grey.

But that is not the worst part. Do want to know what is? Logan is growling and snarling and I can tell that Jean is using her mutation to hold him back. Otherwise he both Scott and I would probably be dead already. Both Scott and I? He seems awfully calm for someone who was about to be killed, because when you look a little closer it is clear that all of his anger is directed at Scott and not at me. But what did he do to get Logan so riled up?

"Let me go!", Logan's whisper is more like a snarl and were it directed at me I'd run for my life. Apparently Jean and I think alike when it comes to that because she is carefully taking a step back. "Logan, Jean." Scott doesn't even glance in their direction. Huh. I always thought he had some kind of survival instinct…apparently I was mistaken.

"Scott, please?", my voice is shaking and I hate me for it, but this situation really freaks me out.

"You're right", with that his arm slowly slips down to my waist and I hear Logan's howl of fury, "It's late. We should go to bed."

"If you lay on finger on her…I swear…", Scott doesn't even blink as he helps me up from the couch and slowly guides me towards the door. All the while with his arm around my waist and a smile on his face, that doesn't seem to reach his eyes. My mind is frozen I can't figure out what Logan is talking about…

"You have no claim on her. Not anymore.", are his only words to the raging but chained Wolverine, before he focuses on Jean: "Jean, if you would let us pass?", his voice is bare of any emotion and it sends a shiver down my spine. At this moment I am not sure who the more intimidating man is: Cyclops or the Wolverine.

If they should ever emerge in a fight, I don't want to be anywhere near, because there won't be much around to remain unharmed.

Scott seems to have stunned Jean into silence because she moves over like a good little dog and is unable to utter a word. Unfortunately she is also unable to keep the Wolverine in check any longer, because Scott pushes me behind him and has his hands on his visor in a matter of nanoseconds. Oh no.

_**Reviews are greatly appreciated. **_


	9. Fought For

_**Author's Note: First of all I want to thank all the reviewers for well…reviewing. I am already working on the next chapter and I will upload it as soon as I can. The fight isn't as epic as you guys expected but that is only because there is a big one to come. So on with the chapter.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men. If I did I would never pair up Rogue with Ice-Boy. I mean seriously? Ice-Boy? Eew.**_

I can't see Logan anymore because Scott's enormous broad shoulders are shielding him from my view, but I know he is serious enough about this to make his adamantium claws come out. How I know that? I heard that sickening sound they make whenever they slide out of his flesh. They go "snikt" and you know someone is about to get ripped into shreds.

Usually this isn't a bad thing. I mean he used these claws to protect me numerous times already and I can't really bring myself to care about someone of the Brotherhood getting a few holes in their stomachs. But this time those claws aren't directed at an enemy, but at Scott. And I am really worried that Cyclops is biting off more than he can chew if he is actually thinking about engaging in a fight with Logan.

But he can't be that suicidal…right?

"Don't even think about it.", Cyclops voice is as calm as ever. The only thing that gives away that he actually is aware of the fact that someone is about to attack him is the hand on his ruby-lensed visor and the tenseness in his shoulders.

"Don't you dare talk to me in that lecturing tone, you sick bastard.", Logan has come to a halt with Scott's underlying threat but I can feel the rage coming off him in waves, although Cyclops is doing a good job shielding me from him. I know that it is about time for me to interfere and try to calm them down, but something tells me they are way past the point of reason, by now and besides I have no idea what this whole fight is about anyways…

"She is only a child.", Logan's words sting but at least I know for sure now that this has definitely something to do with me. Great.

"Is she? You shouldn't talk about things you know nothing about.", Scott's voice is icy. Logan seems to have hit a tender spot with the otherwise unimpressed former leader of the X-Men.

Jean seems to have come to her wits again because she enters the conversation: "Really, Scott, I mean I know it must have hurt when I told you about me and Logan ("told", seriously?, more like caught red-handed), but that you are consoling yourself with a student, who has absolutely nothing to offer…you with your high morals…"

Even I get what that means. Oh god. They really think me and Scott are…a couple? For a moment I am shocked but the shock flashes to anger quickly. Did they really think Scott would exploit a student like that?

The anger finally gives me back my voice: "Are you out of your mind? Scott would ne…", I am not allowed to voice my outrage however, because I am interrupted by the one person I am trying to defend.

"Rogue. Let me take care of this.", he even turns to me with that and I am not sure that is a smart move, because this also means he is turning his back on Logan. " I won't let any harm come to you. I promise.", his last words are a hushed whisper with his hand gliding ever so slowly down my cheek. I don't even know how it got there. But I don't really care anyways because my gaze and thoughts are captivated with his oh-so-gorgeous eyes sparkling through his visor. Oh how I loathe that thing!

My silent and completely inappropriate pining for my teacher is put to an end by a steaming Wolverine running into Scott and slamming him into the next wall, while pushing me to the floor. And everything just goes to hell from there. Before I can move I hear a huge blast and there is a hole burned into the ceiling where I know Scott's eyes must have been directed.

Logan is lying at the other end of the room, his face and upper body half showing burns of the first degree, which he should be thankful for because that means Cyclops did not direct his laser-eyes directly at him but at the ceiling, so he did not burn a hole in Logan's gut. Because healing factor or nor, he would have had a hard time with a hole burned in his skull.

Cyclops is slowly sliding up the wall he crashed into; his movements appear to be somehow rigid which suggests that some of his rips may have cracked, when he was slammed into the wall. No wonder I can see the crack in the wall where Logan shoved him in and I am amazed by the fact that he can still stand. Most people would be lying semi-dead on the floor had they been attacked by the beast that is the Wolverine.

Only then I realize I have been holding my breath all this time and I let out a strangled gasp. Scott's eyes find mine instantly and he rushes to my side with a speed that could not have been good for his rips at the time.

"Are you okay? He didn't get you, right? Did you hurt your head when you fell?", I can only blink at that for a second. He looks so worried. When he goes on with: "I tried to shield you but I was too slow and I'm really sorry, I promised to protect you and now I already broke…" I just have to stop his nonsense.

"Scott. I'm fine, okay?", at his doubtful glance I grab his arm to emphasis my point and get his full attention "Really. But how are you? I thought he might have broken your spine with…"

Once again I am interrupted and I am starting to think that today just isn't my day, because Logan lets out groan of pain and Jean who was standing about as paralyzed as I felt rushes to his aid, while Scott once again moves in front of me as if he was my knight in shining armor.

"Logan, honey, are you okay?", Jean's unnatural sweet voice makes the hairs on my neck stand up. How can anyone bear her? "Look what you did to him! And all because you are jealous…Scott you need to get over me…"

"Don't flatter yourself. You are nothing to me anymore. Not after today. I heard what you said, to Ororo and hank earlier. I didn't think you would sink that low. But I was mistaken about you. In a lot of things." He doesn't even look at her, but keeps an eye on Logan instead.

"So it is because of that little bit…", a warning snarl leaves Cyclops lips. I didn't know he could do that. And at Jean of all people. Jean who he used to adore. Well it seems as if he came to his senses today and realized what she was. Not girlfriend material. But neither am I. And especially not to him…so why doesn't he tell them that we are not…you know…together? Why is he pretending? I want to tell Jean that we are not like that but I decide against it. Why should I care what she thinks? The professor knows we are just friends, companions, Scott knows and I know…or do I?

When Scott is sure Logan isn't standing up to attack him again anytime soon, he gently wraps his hand around my waist and leads me up the stairs.

It feels as if ages passed when it was only a couple of minutes ago since we casually discussed Casablanca. A lot has changed in these last minutes. Especially how I view Scott. Because when he was shoved into that wall and he blasted Logan, I realized I didn't care if Logan was hurt, because I knew he had his healing factor and all, but I did care about Scott getting hurt. Somehow in these last days Scott became someone I care about a lot. And I don't want to analyze how much I care about him…at least not now.

_**A/N: You know what would be awesome? Maybe…I don't know…50 reviews by tomorrow?**_

_**Have a nice week.**_


	10. Honest

_**Author's Note: Okay here is a super-fast update for my beloved reviewers. You broke the 50 review mark so I owe you this. Have fun.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men. **_

Once we reach our room and are safely inside I feel Scott's arm slip off my waist and a quick look confirms my earlier fears. He is not well at all. Blood is slowly dripping to the floor and his shirt is soaked at the side. So Logan used his claws after all. How Scott can remain standing is beyond me. And I have no idea how I could not have seen he was so badly injured. But no time for self-reproach now, I need to do something and quick. He is so pale I fear he might faint on me.

"God! Scott! So much blood! Why didn't you say something? You need to lie down. Just wait here I'll go and get Hank and…", worry makes my stomach churn.

"No. I need bandages now. There should be some in the kitchen. Top drawer on the left. Can you get them for me?", I nod silently while trying to help him to the couch.

"It's okay. I can manage. Just get me the bandages, okay?", Wow I didn't know Scott could get so grumpy but then again there seems to be a whole lot I don't know about him.

While I am rummaging through his drawers in the kitchen he yells for me to bring him his first aid pack from the bathroom along with some towels and hot water. It seems to me he took a nasty blow to the head because I think he is under the impression I will let him patch himself up.

No way. I'm calling Hank as soon as the bleeding is stopped. When I return to the living room, Scott is even paler than before and his breathing comes out in strangled gasps. He must have taken his shirt off while I was looking for the first aid kit in the bathroom, because he is sitting on the couch bare-chested, a huge hole yawning in his side and I have to pull myself together to remain standing at the sight. That really looks nasty.

"Rogue? Can you give me the towels? I'm bleeding all over the place.", yeah like that's what I care about. Some bloodstains on the carpet. Men! I realize then that I have to take control of the situation if I don't want him to bleed to death.

"Just lie down, Scott, okay? I'll patch you up before I call Hank."

"No, you don't have to. Just give me the bandages. I'll be fine.", I don't think he believes that himself.

"No you are not. Now lie down, will you?", With a little force I push him softly down on the cushions, before dipping one of the towels in the water. "This is the least I can do. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be here…", self loathe makes me swallow hard. It is my fault he is injured. If it wasn't for me Logan would have never attacked him.

"You have to listen to me now, Rogue. And listen carefully. This is not your fault, okay?", I shake my head viciously and he uses all his strength to push himself up. "It's not. You didn't do anything wrong! You need to understand that. No matter what others might say. I am right here where I want to be, well maybe minus the hole in my gut…and a few other things…", his last words are a low whisper and I am not sure I was meant to hear them, but I don't know what he is talking about anyways so I guess it doesn't matter.

However I cannot share his opinion about my innocence in this whole drama but I think now is not the time to argue with him, so I nod and push him down again.

"We need to clean that first…it might sting…you think you can manage?", he just raises an eyebrow and I want to kick myself. Of course he can manage. He already managed to move up two flights of stairs before I even noticed he was hurt.

I try to be as careful as possible while cleansing the wound but I can still feel him flinch whenever my gloved fingers graze his stomach. I can't tell if he is in pain though or if it is the thought of my touch that makes him flinch, because his eyes are tightly shut behind his visor and his whole body screams "tension!".

While bandaging him I cannot help but marvel at his well-toned body, which is lean and yet ripped enough so you can make out every single muscle in his upper body.

I think he must have caught me staring at some point because I notice him staring right back. The thought of him watching me makes me blush fiercely so I hurry to finish the task at hand; I want to flee this room and Scott's stare as soon as possible because the embarrassment of my obvious drooling is slowly driving me mad because I could swear that is a smug grin on Scott's too-handsome-for-his-own-good face.

"Now I think that should be good enough until I can find Hank…so…you'll be alright?", I fumble around with my words a lot more than necessary.

"I don't need Hank.", that stubborn streak makes itself known once again.

"Yes you do. And I don't care if you think you are this tough guy who can stitch himself, and just act as if you are well, because you're not, okay? And I care too much about you to let you be so reckless…", I only then realize I am yelling and I begin to realize what I said. There is no way I can stay with Scott in a room any longer. Before he can as much as utter a word I am on my way down to the lab…the embarrassment of my words pulsing through my veins. What have I done? Things are going to be so awkward between us now! He probably thinks I am one of those schoolgirls who crush on him all the time. Eew. I'll be sure to hang myself should I ever turn into one of those.

Thankfully Hank is in the lab and doesn't ask too many questions when I tell him I have an emergency. I always liked him. He doesn't give me any crab about my mutation and treats me as an equal. Something only few people do. Like Scott. Oh dangerous territory.

If I wasn't so worried about him I would have never gone back to him anytime soon. But now here I am outside of his door where Hank send me as soon as he saw Scott's by then soaked bandages.

Not that I mind. Better out here than in there. I wait outside of the door for about an hour. When Hank finally leaves he does only because Scott refuses to be brought down to the lab and a furious Jean called him to treat Logan downstairs. He said I should go in to keep an eye on Scott but I can't bring my feet to move. Probably because I don't want to go in. I mean Hank said he was doing fine considering the amount of blood that he lost and I couldn't do much good anyways…

About ten minutes later I force myself to go in. The sun is about to go up soon and I don't want to grow roots out here.

It is dark inside but the moon is shining brightly through the huge windows and I can see just enough to not bump into anything while making my way over to the couch where Scott is lying, apparently still brightly awake (according to Hank he refused to take any medication that would dull his judgment).

"Hey.", I say my voice strained from the lack of use.

"Hey.", he sounds tired but painless.

"You should sleep."

"We need to talk first.", I should know better than to argue with him when he is using this tone but I try anyways.

"Tomorrow. Hank said you lost a lot of blood. You need to rest. Please, Scott. Tomorrow.", for the lack of an alternative I am pleading with him now.

He gives me a long look but to my disbelief eventually relents: "Tomorrow then. But promise me not to leave the room until we have talked."

I am tired so I nod and say "I promise." without thinking.

"Good. Now come here.", when I am by his side, he goes on "closer."

I give him a strange look but lean down nonetheless. When he speaks I feel his breath tickle my ear and a shiver runs down my spine, because I never heard so much conviction in so few words before. "Rogue", he whispers and for the second time today I feel his fingers on my cheek. "me too."

_**A/N: Please review. **_


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